When you need help

and can’t get it anywhere.

* so anxious I can’t concentrate on anything and have to fight so hard to pull the shutters down so I look normal to everyone else

* sitting statue still with tears rolling down your face and replying one syllable answers in a neutral tone

* there’s a microchip behind my ear theres a chip behind my ear there is a fucking chip behind my ear under my skin

* my head is loud it is so loud there’s so much noise inside and out. You can’t talk like this, you can’t concentrate like this.

* people don’t believe me, they’re not listening. I’m already anxious because of it but being told it’s not real is not helping. I feel like I am on the verge of full blown hysteria. Time to sit very still and be blank.

* Thinking days from now or years from now one of us will be ioll, I will have lost Gog; he will have lost me

* the things are back, that move. The animals or the blackness. In the corners, they hide.

* I am being watched

Terrified does not come close. but who can help? I won’t use crisis team i only have the gp and they can’t do anything.

 

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2 thoughts on “When you need help

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