“How are you today?”

 

Don’t you just hate it when they have an appt and they ask that question? How do they expect me to answer?! I don’t know how I’m doing!!

Current signs of mania:

~ little sleep

~ waking in the night and not being able to return to sleep for racing thoughts / feeling ‘excited’

~ impulsive ‘big’ ideas…from re-decorating the house to committing suicide

~ not being able to sit still

~ infrequent periods (usually lasting around five hours) where I am buzzing with energy and talking very fast

Current signs of depression:

~ not wanting to leave the house at all
(usually, even when I’m not manic, I enjoy leaving the house. When I’m manic I need to leave the house every day and travel somewhere ‘exciting’. Right now I need pushing into walking the dogs, I don’t want to go any further than that, and today we have to go food shopping which feels like torture)

~ anxiety is extremely high

~ very frequent thoughts of suicide with some serious consideration going into it

~ long periods of feeling extremely sad, hopeless and desperate

~ lack of energy to do things or lack of enjoyment when doing them

~ getting tired in the day and needing naps

Current signs of psychosis:

~ knowledge & fear of people coming into the house / bugging the house

~ fear of being spied on
(gets much worse in places where there are more people – everyone seems to be acting suspiciously to me)

~ visual hallucinations of various things

~ loud / uncontrollable thoughts that won’t leave me alone; these sound *inside* my head, and some are voiced by a person who has a name and personality

~ auditory hallucinations, actually not as frequent as visual hallucinations

Current physical symptoms:

~ for the past 9 days I have charted high levels of pain from headaches, neck ache, back ache and migraines

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2 thoughts on ““How are you today?”

  1. Wow. Im sorry for your pain, i relate to being asked are you ok, i get a text from my mother every other day asking ‘how are you’. Id like to reply with a post as in depth as yours but its wasted energy. Keep going x

    Liked by 1 person

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