Depression, anxiety and hopelessness are already being rated 10/10 on the mood chart today.
It’s one of *those* days, I feel like utter shit.
I need to be careful today, as I could easily risk an impulsive suicide attempt…I’m in a lot of distress, suicide looks good, but I want my suicide to be planned and gentle…whenever I impulsively try and kill myself it goes badly; obviously, I’ve never succeeded. Ha, weak joke.
I could self-harm to try ease any of this shit, but my self-harm urges are weird at the moment…I want to *really* hurt myself. Like breaking bones. Which would result in a hospital visit, a long recovery time, and being one-handed would make life harder for my partner and my dogs. So no.
I could go to A&E to see if they could / would help, but I can’t deal with having a bad experience or having to see Crisis Team.
I want this to end.
I. Just. Want. Help.