Me and Gog had an argument today.
We were due to see his parents and, along with some other stuff, he lied to me. I cannot *stand* being lied to, especially by him, and after past events between us it’s really not good.
When I told him I wasn’t going out, he was refusing to let me stay home alone because ‘you might kill yourself’ – NOTHING is going to wind me up as much as being told this!
First of all I am 26 fucking years old, you can’t tell me what to do and I should be able to stay home alone. Secondly I’m very open with Gog, and always tell him when I’m feeling that bad – if I say I can safely stay home, I can almost always safely stay home.
Today I’m having an okay day, my suicidal thoughts are barely scratching the surface…let me be alone whilst I can be!
And why the hell do I have no choice but to stay with the person who has just pissed me off and hurt me?
I told him being forced to go out and act happy around his parents when I wanted to hole up at home and hide would be horrible. I’d be irritable, stressed and upset by the end of the day.
After lots of wasted time and dithering on his part, he left.
I love him to bits but I feel like we’re being pushed to breaking point. I *know* he does things to help and he’s an amazing guy…but I am tired of feeling misunderstood, under-appreciated and unheard.
We both need to work on some things, but sometimes it feels like I’m the only one trying…