My parents were supposed to come up for a visit today. They let us know yesterday and, even though I really, really wasn’t in the mood to be social and act happy, I told them it’d be fine for them to come visit and I’d see them tomorrow.
Tomorrow came and my mood was in the pits, so I called them and cancelled. I think this is the first time I’ve ever actually cancelled plans with them when I’ve needed to.
I’m really glad I didn’t force myself to go through with the day; instead me and Gog stayed in, watched easy TV and snuggled under blankets together.
The entire day my mood was horribly low and I was exhausted.
I had a two hour nap, woke up exhausted still, and fell asleep for another few hours.
I did make it out on two dog walks with our youngest dog; one was okay and I found it quite stress relieving, and the other one made me completely stressed and full of rage, for no real reason.
My paranoia hasn’t been too bad today. I’ve had the thoughts that aren’t mine in my head (it’s like hearing voices, but not someone talking outside my head, but in), they circle around suicide and how worthless I am, but as usual it’s the visual hallucinations that have had most impact and caused the most trouble.
And that’s pretty much my day.
It’s felt really short because I haven’t been awake that much, yet here I am at just after midnight exhausted again!
I think it’s Easter tomorrow. Happy Easter everyone.