Glad we cancelled

Anon here.

My parents were supposed to come up for a visit today. They let us know yesterday and, even though I really, really wasn’t in the mood to be social and act happy, I told them it’d be fine for them to come visit and I’d see them tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and my mood was in the pits, so I called them and cancelled. I think this is the first time I’ve ever actually cancelled plans with them when I’ve needed to.

I’m really glad I didn’t force myself to go through with the day; instead me and Gog stayed in, watched easy TV and snuggled under blankets together.

The entire day my mood was horribly low and I was exhausted.

I had a two hour nap, woke up exhausted still, and fell asleep for another few hours.

I did make it out on two dog walks with our youngest dog; one was okay and I found it quite stress relieving, and the other one made me completely stressed and full of rage, for no real reason.

My paranoia hasn’t been too bad today. I’ve had the thoughts that aren’t mine in my head (it’s like hearing voices, but not someone talking outside my head, but in), they circle around suicide and how worthless I am, but as usual it’s the visual hallucinations that have had most impact and caused the most trouble.

And that’s pretty much my day.

It’s felt really short because I haven’t been awake that much, yet here I am at just after midnight exhausted again!

I think it’s Easter tomorrow. Happy Easter everyone.


2 thoughts on “Glad we cancelled

  1. “I’ve had the thoughts that aren’t mine in my head” I have tried to explain feeling/hearing/thinking this to so many doctors and friends. “So you’re hearing voices?” they say back to me and I try to explain that it’s me but I’m not thinking those thoughts, they’re not mine. I’m not glad you’re unwell but I’m relieved that I’m not the only one with thoughts that aren’t mine.
    Happy Easter to you! I hope you feel better today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s always so nice to hear others experience the same thing, and it’s not just you – I totally get it 🙂

      I have the same problem too – I can’t get Doctors to understand what I mean. The closest I can get is saying they are thoughts that I can’t control / that don’t sound like me – I don’t recognise them as being my voice, they ‘sound’ different.

      Happy Easter to you too 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s