So I’m getting to a wonderful point with my seizures, and I just need to celebrate.
Yesterday I had a looong day out (5 hours) and I had a lot of seizures.
I had seizures out on cliffs / the beach, in front of dozens of dog walkers. I had seizures in a pub and in front of a friend’s mum I had never met before. I wore my ski goggles around SO MANY PEOPLE.
And I was not ashamed!!
I wasn’t uncomfortable, or embarrassed. I have seizures, I might act weird, I might get sad, I might be on the ground, yes I have to wear goggles…IT’S A FUCKING HEALTH CONDITION, and if you can’t deal with it that’s on you, not me!!
This was a seizure (with a beautiful view!) yesterday
(I was in zero danger of rolling off, and yes my partner was keeping a close eye on me. He’s been caring for me for years, and I have over a dozen seizures a day, so he’s pretty damn good at it 😛 )
And after I’d taken the time to recover, I was good to go again!
I also took a risk yesterday and climbed up a cliff. Normally I avoid activities like this…because if I had a seizure, I could die XD
But we discussed it, and I’d be up and over within a minute AND my partner would be right there…I’m not living in bubble wrap, so I did it and it was fun 😀
I am DAMN PROUD of all of this.
For 18 months seizures took everything I had from me.
They ruined every hobby I had (didn’t have the mental capacity or memory to read, couldn’t enjoy photography as the PC screen and camera flash was a big trigger, couldn’t enjoy video games for the same reason, couldn’t hike due to lighting and seizures etc etc). For 18 months I didn’t leave our tiny village, I didn’t travel on transport, I didn’t go into shops. I didn’t LIVE!!
And with absolutely zero help from medical professionals (because they are awful, didn’t believe I was having seizures, and now it’s a 12 month wait to see a neurologist before they even think of meds) every day me and my partner are finding ways to manage and deal with both my seizures and my bipolar.
And we’re rocking it 🙂
Is life difficult? Of course. Am I still hugely limited? Well, yeah. Do I often feel out of it, ill, in pain and make an arse of myself? Of course! But I’m doing all I can to enjoy and make the most out of life, and I’m currently in a depressive episode!!
I’m really damn proud of both of us 🙂
And I am so, *so*, SO much happier with my new goggles!!
I was always uncomfortable and embarrassed in my old ones, because they were so huge and clunky and odd looking…I’m actually proud of my new goggles, I think they look badass 😀
And on the side there are glow in the dark patches to let people know they’re for seizures 😀
And some final photos of our new hobby, which we are REALLY enjoying!!
I might dedicate an entire post to seaglass hunting, seeing as this blog is becoming more of a personal blog than a ‘lets just talk about how shit things are’ blog XD