0

Please share our go fund me

Hello everyone,

Our littlest was run into by a much larger dog on a walk yesterday, and after x-rays today she has completely shattered all the bones connecting to her toes in her front left paw.

The vet has given us two options, both of which would leave her with pain, lameness, and arthritis. After much research we think it would be kinder to have the leg amputated, but this is even more expensive than the operation the vet wanted to do.

Please if you could share our campaign it would be extremely appreciated, and if you can spare any cash at all it will go to a great cause!

Tolly’s fund

bagdog1

stoopidboo8

0

Today, we coped

We had a rough day today.

Seizure rage / shitty mood in the morning. Then on a dog walk our smallest pup was badly injured when another much larger dog ran into her. She hurt her front leg badly and it was very scary.

This was obviously incredibly stressful; she was in a lot of pain, she’s the sweetest little girl so it was awful to see, and thanks to benefits stopping for no reason and without telling us, we have no money.

Our benefit was suspended for a mistake that a GP wrote in a letter, we weren’t told they had been suspended and so had already missed a month’s money, and now they’re making us jump through a hundred hoops before they restart it. And, because that benefit was suspended, another has had to stop until the first has resumed.

We have literally no money.

As soon as we realised we had virtually no income we bought some dog food in so the pups would be okay, and have been on zero spends. Our amazing friend surprised us with half a dozen bags of food recently, it was amazing and we were so grateful, so we won’t have to use a food bank. But an emergency vet bill is not what we needed right now.

Thankfully my partner met up with his grandparents last week and we were given some belated Christmas money. We have £200 thanks to my partner’s family, and can scrape together £100 from our bank accounts if we abandon rent / emergency money.

We phoned the vet at the time of the accident and made an appt for this evening, but they only do ‘non-emergency’ (ie. if the dog’s not going to die) x-rays in the morning. So now we have the exam AND probable x-ray tomorrow morning.

In the meantime our little pup has been having a ton of cuddles. She has done SO WELL. She bounced back super quick, she hasn’t seemed in pain after the first hour (although can’t bear any weight on the leg), and it’s her wrist / around the dew claw that’s injured and not her leg, thank god.

With all this massive amount of stress, I’ve amazingly not been lost to a day of seizures or fallen on a suicide attempt or being overwhelmed with panic. I’m wondering if this is the CBD oil helping my MH symptoms?

I’ve been scared and anxious and sad, yes, but I think given the circumstances that is totally normal.

I’m actually proud of myself. Which feels weird haha. Usually a routine vet appt freaks me out so…yeah, I’m proud. And so relieved that my little one is doing as well as can be expected.

Now just please let the appt go okay, because I love my baby so much…

2

Bad day turned good

Today has been bloody intense!!

I had seizures in the morning, and all day my psychosis has been terrible. On a dog walk passing through a quiet cul de sac I happened to see an old woman in her house sitting on an arm chair, and behind the woman I saw what I can only describe as a monster.

The monster looked human-ish; it was behind the arm chair leaning over the woman and muttering in her ear. It had really really long, skinny arms, a long neck, and very long pointed teeth. Obviously the woman couldn’t see it and was completely unaware of it whispering in her ear.

It was awful. I stopped walking and freaked out big time, I felt terrified.

I tried to do the ‘real or not real’ game with my partner, where I ask if he can see it and have to try and force myself to believe what he says, but it was extremely difficult.

At home was better. We had a puppy training class for my assistance dog in training this evening, which I really wasn’t in the mood for but we had to go as we’d already missed three weeks.

90 minutes before we had to set off I had another seizure, and fell asleep exhausted afterwards. My partner woke me up 15 minutes before we had to set off, and I felt awful – really nauseous and just horribly ill!

I almost cancelled, but in the end decided to push through it, and I ended up feeling much better within 15 minutes and our pup excelled at class – yay!

So, that was my day. I honestly think that’s one of the worst hallucinations I’ve had, up there with a child kneeling in the middle of the road as our friend was driving and another time a child stood covered in blood was standing next to the car window. Scary days…

0

Cheer me up puppy!

I’ve crashed, my mania’s gone 😦

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

My energy’s gone, my buzz for life has gone…crippling anxiety has returned, sadness has descended, and I know it’s only going to get worse.

Fuuuuuuuuck.

I am scared and I am sad and I am scared about how sad I am going to get in the upcoming weeks.

We found a puppy just over a week ago, tied to a tree and abandoned in the middle of nowhere. She is a sweetheart. I am trying to take her for walks and cuddle her a lot, in the hope she will help force my mood upwards…